“I really learned it all from mothers.”
– Dr. Benjamin Spock
That is quite an admission, the famed Dr. Spock, the guide for a generation of parents…learned it all from mothers! I think one of the greatest things about moms is that they share. They share their experiences, their fears, their joys, their worries, the everyday minutiae of raising kids. We all learn from each other, we compare notes, seek advice, provide insights, and learn in the doing. While there is no exact rule book on raising kids, there is a robust publishing industry willing to share guidelines and measurements and strategies for every stage and phase of raising children. I have found that the best, most accurate and most actionable learning that I have used has come from other mothers. They get it like no one else does.
One of the earliest lessons I learned about being a mom was from my favourite (deceased) pediatrician, Dr. Norm Saunders. In one of my first visits with my oldest, who was then, the tiniest bit of thing and a few days old, he said, “Motherhood is a marathon, not a sprint.” He counselled me, (I was a bit overwrought in the early days), to relax and not worry so much about my mothering skills. He was an amazing man, doctor and became a friend. He said to follow your instincts and that the best doctors listened to moms, and that there was such a thing called a mother’s instinct.
The other saying about marathons that I repeat to myself often is that to remember that there are those who are finished the race and for them it is done, but for many the race is still being run….I would say that I am in the thick of it. Many friends have older kids and one of them said to me a few years ago, “I can’t believe how much road you still have to cover.” Every time you get to a new stage with your kids, it easy to forget the stages that you have passed through.
The difference between motherhood and training for a true marathon, is that generally you train for a marathon. There is really no training program for moms…there are seminars, books, the internet but it is variable and inconsistent. So hence we get back to other moms…they are truly the best coaches and cheerleaders for other moms. My friends and my network are my go to resources, and while everyone parents differently, I have learned so much from other moms. I have found on this journey that other moms are just as happy as I am to walk the marathon of motherhood and enjoy the scenery together.
My advice to anyone struggling or overwhelmed with motherhood – find your network of moms and tap into them often…..
